Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Odds n Ends & A Few Friends

Let me start off by saying I'm super sleepy tonight. I ended up staying up way too late last night talking with Mrs S. You get us two talking and typing and we could go for hours, i'm telling ya. My DH gets up at 230 in the mornings for work so from when I close my eyes, prayed and he got up it was just about 1 hour ..give or take.. I felt okay.. I couldn't go back to sleep after he had left so I picked up the house.. Now what crazy girl cleans their house at 4 am? Add the dishes, laundry and took laundry upstairs...

And boy.. I got real tired at about 6 am so I crashed on the couch for one wee little hour. I woke up not very cheery and tired.. I went to run my errand into town and realized while I was on the phone mind you.. my battery was going dead. Here I am on the phone with Mrs S and kaput... I go to plug it in and my charger has a wirer that broke away.. Here I trying to drive and trying to get my phone to hold just an ounce of charge to send her a message that I didn't purposely disconnect or heaven for bid drive into some corner. It was a mess this morning. I was tired and fussy.. with my two smaller kiddos they were fed lunch and off to nappy because I knew if I didn't boy was it going to be a long day ahead.Wheewwww..

Miss K got her cast signed all up today.. Her arm has been hurting her more in the evening.. not sure if it's swelling some or what..I hope and pray it will continue to heal and relieve some pressure and pain each day. Her nurse at the Ortho dr. said when we come back she'll pull out the stuffing after they cut if off and she could save it... Interesting I thought.. Keepsake momento..Welp, this is my speal on how my day went and here's a bit about a few friends.

Friends.. their are very few in our life.. that really get us as a person.. we don't always choose our friends but they come in and out of our lives for reasons we might not understand.

We all have friends.. friends but then you have that one where you can laugh together, cry together, make sense out of life together, just is all right together.

Last Saturday Miss K and I had the opportunity to go visit a good ole friend of hers and her mother (an ole friend of mine). It was really nice scratch that.. it was great..

The way over to the house.. I think K and I were both a bit nervous.. It's been a few years since we had last spoken and that time it was rocky.. but there comes a point in time when you have to let it go.. Life is too short to hold it until you pop..

The first few minutes were quiet between the girls but after awhile they were chatting katties, and giggling, remenescing the older stories of when they attended classes together. Memories, it was great to remember and also catch up on everything that has been going on back then until now.. Kids grow so fast.. but in the same breath we're still the same girls.. same women.. same friends.. It was like we never skipped a beat between her and I. We laughed, cackled and told stories after story.

As I was pulling out of the drive to leave K says "So how do you think it went" I said it went good. I asked did you have a good time.. oh yea she says. It made her spring break end on a happy note so that's is alright with me. I hope we keep in touch.. as everyone has a mainline of friends.. there is a few really fantastic ones that you know you gotta hold onto.



I am thankful for our god, my very closest friend who hears my every thought.

I am thankful for my husband and my many children.

I am thankful for the ability to attend school at home for now.

I am thankful for the ability to breathe, talk, eat, dress, run.

I am thankful my daughter wrist isn't worse than it really is.
Here's a few of many I could go on about..

Please count your blessings and not your misfortunes..

Drop a line and tell me what YOU are thankful for?

Hug the ones you love tonight and sending Huge Hugs to you,

Monday, March 30, 2009

!!Lost but not Unthankful!!

Have you ever stood still and felt "lost"? Do you feel like you are a person with repetition that you do things over and over again and yet you feel that in the same breathe you aren't making any progress? With the hustle & bustle of time changing you sit back and watch life pass before your eyes but you feel so lost with your inner-self that you can't move. You might feel constricted to do so.. well my heart aches inside because this is me. These are my thoughts..and these are my feelings .. at certain times.. I just want to slide down the side of a wall and cry.. Not sure why.. This is just me..

These last few weeks I've felt this way.. I couldn't really put my finger on it and I haven't really yet.. I've come to see that I know I feel lost. The other night I was reading a blog and I found my first song on here "Lost" which probably just ended.. I think that song is interesting to listen to..

I think more accurately I found to make sense was #2 song "Life Ain't Always Beautiful".
Life aint always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart

Life aint always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day

But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it's sweet time

I needed to type my thoughts out..hey I said this is the good.. the bad and everything in between..

I know before everybody jumps to say to me be thankful.. Oh I am ABSOLUTELY thankful don't get me wrong here.. I'm just feeling lost in the same breath here.

.......
Enough already huh..Alright here we go.. one sec. here..I want to pause and show you something I found this on another blog. so get a drink and take 9 minutes and you will be in ah... I kid you not...

Amazing isn't it? Fantastic....

okay so today was day 1 one of back to school week.. PRAISE GOD .. I'm telling you I wanted to hit play on #4 on my playlist.. and dance like nobodys business.. I love my kids but wheeww.. it has been a long week..it seemed like it never was gonna end.. I'll have to say the end of spring break ended up alot different than I expected.. Who would've ever thought I'd have a child with a broken wrist.. WHO NOT ME>> never would've predicted this.. in the least.. God has a devine plan.. we might think we have life figured out.. but it is at that point that it alters the direction..

Onto the subject of Miss K and her wrist, we had the ortho appointment this afternoon and ........... come on give me a drum roll please....

Ta Da... Miss K in her darling pretty pink cast.. Yep, isn't it bright.. I was going for a blue.. as I am partial to the color blue or grey and her dad was shooting for the camo color.. but pink we chose..

The ortho dr. came in and greeted us with hellos and smiles.. he then went out and took a peek at her x-rays and almost immediately came back and said those fateful few words "Yep, we looking at puting a cast on".. my heart sank..I was hoping by some means maybe she would just be alright in her splint but I guess that is why he's the dr. and not me.lol.. go figure.. We go back in two weeks and they will take that cast off and take new pics. and prob. he said they'll put a new cast on for a bit longer. I was thinking.. god is good.. it is quite possible he could touch her arm and heal it with his mighty power.. When the time is right she will be healed and recover.. Along with having her cast on.. it came to be that she won't be able to be in soccer this season after all. She had started a week prior to spring break but the dr. said nope.. no sports.. no nadda...so .. following dr. rules..that might also rule out softball..we'll have to see how everything goes.

Here's another pic. of my babygirl..
and I'll definitely have one tomorrow with it signed all over..She was adament about getting a sharpy marker for people to sign.. I reminded her no inappropriateness on her cast.

For the most part this was my monday.. errands, cleaning and Miss K's appt. I didn't get to far on my to do list.. my room and the hallway closet looks so scary it could scare the bejeebies out of you.. I have done like a clean through and picked up so all long as I don't open any closets or look under any beds, it's all good..

With spring break being over.. that includes myself I have bunches and bunches of homework staring right at me .. one thing at a time.. right.. only do what you can today and the rest gets moved onto tomorrow..

I encourage everyone to take a minute and hold their loved ones and kids tonight.. Tell them you love them and give a special squishy hug.. They will be over joyed and feel all warm inside..

Sending all of you Huge Hugs,

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Say it isn't so Saturday..

Well... another one of those posts.. lose for words I'm guessing.. The week has come to an end.. We, I mean I survived .. lol.. really here that it's come down to the end it was so bad after all.. they kinda mellowed out as the week progressed and now I think they're just tired..not so much bored anymore..I really enjoyed taking the break from school and just spending time with my big kids.. My babies get alot more attention from mom during the day.. but life has just been busy with me in school that time gets away and before you know it the day after day is done surpassed. I really am thankful for all my kids, I know they can push my buttons and try my patients but geez, they are still my kids.

This week we kicked off youth week at our church.. It has been great..We've have services most of the nights this week with continuing until sunday evening.. I'm really taken in some new things in my mind, in my heart. Unlike someone that has been always a child of god, I have just been baptized now.. it'll be a year in June on Father's Day to be exact. Anyhow, like I was going on, my faith has been something I always struggled with and along with that just my strength and be able to go and give everything I have to our god is hard for me at times. I know he has a plan for us.. I just got to tune in to listen when he let's me know of mine. This is also something that here in these last few weeks I've been battling. Like I had first said in my last post that I have just had this unsure quiet feeling for some reason. Like I feel lost at time because I haven't figured out my place here in this world. I know I'm a wife, a mom, a child of god but there is something else.. something that god is going to use me for.. If and when I point my finger on it, I'll be sure to update.

So .. I know I had headlined this "Say it isn't so because..." thursday night our church held a skating outing up in springfield and my kids and I all went and had fun. My two older K & J looked so big and they are growing up so fast. Lil J put on his first pair of skates and he was so cute.. he just toodled right around in circles. Lil K just made laps with a cookie in one hand and her binky in the other. And then in one blink of an eye Yep that's right, she was skating along and her feet went out from under her.. and you guessed it she was hurt. We had iced it for a bit and requested prayer for her wrist. K continued to cry and say the pain was too much so I decided we should have it looked at. Three hours later... DRUM ROLL PLEASE..... broken wrist... If you could've been a fly on that wall.. I almost fell outta my chair when the dr. uttered those few words.. He went on to say she broke her Distal radius and that it wouldn't be best to cast it until the swelling goes down. After just a few hours of sleep (that includes momma) and some pain med. She could sit for a few minutes with peace. Last night we had went to service at church and everyone had prayed for her and she could rest for awhile on the seat but she still felt compelled to stand during praise singing. God is so good and is he good part of the time? Absolutely not.. he's good ALL the time and I am so thankful that her brake isn't worse than it is. Giving glory to him in the good AND the bad is so important. Now we wait for monday when we go to see the ortho doctor and he'll decide to hard cast it or leave it in the splint for the remainder healing process.

I couldn't end without adding my boys decked out in there skates.. now could I..



They are calling for rain continuing on this morning and switching into snow.. Snow in March... Only in Missouri do we have unpredictable weather.

Everyone knows Mrs. Stephanie LOVES music.. so why not add a video to make everyone get up and do a couple twirls.. With trying to find my place here.. I thought this video was well felt for today! **Don't forget to pause playlist at very bottom**


Huge Hugs with lots of love,

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Thoughts for Thursday

**I warn you.. lengthy post today..**

These are a few of my random thoughts today.. I didn't really feel compelled to just talk about one thing so I thought hmmm. why not just chitter chat about a few things...

I'm not sure where to go from here..These last few days or week I'm guessing I've been really quiet..Not really sure why.. I'm not bothered by anyone thing or upset with any person..Now anyone who knows me .. I'm usually the loudest talker, loudest to holler, loudest to laugh at church.. and of a sudden there is something that has come over me.. I know this sounds totally odd..And now I'm not crazy or going mentally down... I have been praying more and just really taking in 110% in living a godly life.. trying be a good christian woman..

Part of me .. I guess is really hitting me that my husband doesn't attend church with me and my kids.. I feel like there is a peice that is missing between jeff & I. I see couples in our church and they couldn't be closer than peas & carrots. I read blogs that the wife & the husband pray & worship. Can You just imagine... some of you have that.. and are so incredibly blessed but for a second.. I'm thinking that would be the most incredible thing to happen. I know I can't give up... I can't.. I used to think when I was first baptized that it would never come to be that my husband would never make that step into the church doors. I shouldn't think in that way.. I should be positive.. About a month ago, our pastor had given a sermon on MIRACLES. He asked three questions. . 1)Who needs a miracle? 2)How bad do you want that miracle? 3)What are you gonna do to get that miracle? After service they had a alter call and I remember going up to the front and kneeling down. I told god that I had a miracle and I wanted nothing more than my husband to start coming to church and be baptized in jesus name. I said I would do whatever it takes.. I have cried many tears over this .. many.. it would seem when we'd take a few steps forward .. he would slide a few back..

I go on to say this because what ever miracle you are wanting.. do not.. listen here DO NOT give up.. I wouldn't have ever thought that god would give me such peace with my life.. Of course we have our ups and downs on days..and we question why plans happen to change the way they do? But it's not in our hands to write out our plan for life. He has our plan already figured and mapped out.I guess that is why I'm so calm and reserved lately.. I never really undersood how people could go and pray to god and be at peace with their thoughts.. BUT I do now.. I get.. I really get it.. I can feel lost, confused, upset or frustrated and I go and pray, and pray some more.

The other night when I had first read about stellan, MckMama's son I just began to cry, I began to wonder how at one point they are going in the pace of life and the next her son is in PICU with heart problems.. then I read ladies that have went over and beyond to conceive and have precious miracle babies and have such difficulty. Is their a part of me that wonders why I had 4 and here some aren't blessed with just one.. I feel a loss of words at times because what do you say to console them.. No words are going to even compare because I haven't experienced having that sick of a child that requires hospitalization or I haven't experienced the battles of infertility... I don't even think I do as much for them spirtually as they do for me.. They have a light that shines of strength and faith with believe and praise all wrapped up into one.

I am so thankful for the ladies I have crossed paths with online.

These are my random thoughts today

Huge Hugs,




I wanted to add these in at the end here for encouragement.

HANDY LITTLE CHART - GOD HAS A POSITIVE ANSWER:



YOU SAY
GOD SAYS
BIBLE VERSES

You say: 'It's impossible'
God says: All things are possible
(Luke 18:27)

You say: 'I'm too tired'
God says: I will give you rest
(Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: 'Nobody really loves me'
God says: I love you
(John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )

You say: 'I can't go on'
God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: 'I can't figure things out'
God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5- 6)

You say: 'I can't do it'
God says: You can do all things
(Philippians 4:13)

You say: 'I'm not able'
God says: I am able
(II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: 'It's not worth it'
God says: It will be worth it
(Roman 8:28 )

You say: 'I can't forgive myself'
God says: I Forgive you
(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: 'I can't manage'
God says: I will supply all your needs
(Philippians 4:19)

You say: 'I'm afraid'
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)

You say: 'I'm always worried and frustrated'
God says: Cast all your cares on ME
(I Peter 5:7)

You say: 'I'm not smart enough'
God says: I give you wisdom
(I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: 'I feel all alone'
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you
(Hebrews 13:5)

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Still Going Strong

I wanted to take a minute and say thoughts and prayers are still going up for Baby Stellan with MckMama.. Just reading her post today is something.. her faith, her strength... I don't know if that was my child .. would I be so incredibly strong and at peace with the decisions our god ultimately makes... MckMama is just makes you really think about things... You just gotta read and get to know her...
Please if you wish, hit MckMiracles badge on left for updates and she's also on twitter..


Also, Kami a.k.a Life with Mimi .. is getting ready for retrieval soon... prayers are going up for healthy follies.. a strong lining for these babies to attach soon when it's time... I couldn't even imagine being in mimi's shoes.. and having to experience her trials with IVF. She is an amazing women and she is so awesome to follow as a new blog friend that I am...I have four children and I feel blessed with each one... and in the same breath I can't help but be excited for her coming up retrieval day and then next heading into transfer day... eventhough we might all have a few miles of distance between all of us .. it's like we live right in the same neighborhood...lol...love.. it love.. it .. I can't wait to read the post on the day she says BABY BABY.. definitely will have to get to knitting a blanket... You're
a inspirational child of god..

Okay......Well, day 2 almost down and getting ready to move onto day 3 of Spring Break... So far.. kids are a little bored.. driving each other a little batty.. and me ...can only play referee for so long for you just send them to different sections of the house until they can get along again.. Wheew...

So looking at my to do list I had posted a few days back...

Staying caught up on laundry... Praise god for that.. it seems to be as soon as you catch up like more comes shootin down the stairs.. it almost like it gets dirtied in the middle of the night somehow... hmmm...

Pictures...oh pictures... I got some inside pictures but It has been SUPER windy.. I'm talking about take your hair and blow away windy..If you were wearing a skirt... hope to all goodness it was static clinging to your pantyhouse..lol... Where was I .. oh back to pictures.. we had some rain so it's a bit soggy for outside pictures but I hope to squeeze some in before it rains again..which IS right around the corner.. even I heard the S word.. yea i'm saying SNOW... SNOW.. in march only in missouri would it SNOW in MARCH..

Slowly but surely choppin at the list..I need to put a wiggle in it.. We are having youth week at church with services ongoing until sunday evening.. so every evening from here on out will be busy busy.. It's quite alright.. praising god takes presidence over all of this minor stuff..Praising... Praising...God is very good to us and he is our mighty god that is here at all times... Everyone knows I posted my get up and praise song "I'm free"... Holy Cow.. I heard it in the car yesterday morning and this morning.. talk about goose bumps... I was jammin and clapping and praising and singing like no other...(usually i'm an indoor closet singer) I didn't care who overheard me.. that is the beauty of praising god.. you never look goofy to him.. one might feel intimidated at home, out in public or even in church to sing, shout, dance and praise our god.. but never ever feel embaressed... what matters is your relationship with him..

Until next time and leaving with HUGE HUGS,

Monday, March 23, 2009

**Let's take a Minute**

**I was thinking this evening while in my car that I needed to get onto my blog and post** something said .. now there's something you need to read..

I logged on and hit Baby Veiyah's badge.. (on my blog on the right) first things I read is Please Dirty you Knees...

It's regarding Baby Stellan on


It's his heart.. right now he's in PICU.. unregular beating..

So we know as faithful bloggers.. let's pray...

Mck Mama is such a faithful, christian women with a love of god that just inspires you.. I have found a lot of strength, love in the god she knows that will NOT fail us.. NO MATTER WHAT...

Let's say that again.. Some of us need to breathe that in... GOD WILL NOT EVER LEAVE US NOR FORSAKE US...

It is in your hands oh god.... only you know of this plan with baby stellan.. may you give Mck Mama and Prince Charming peace.. give them strength to make these defying choices in this time...

I praise your name with all of my being, you are a faithfull god and you will never turn your back...

Thank you for reading tonight and please hit her badge for updates and sending prayers up right now...

Huge Hugs,

Stephanie

Sunday, March 22, 2009

**Praise on Sunday**

A new known fact about me is that I love music.. I could sleep, eat and breathe music... LOVE< LOVE< LOVE IT... So.. listening to music.. and this song caught my attention..I heard a gazillion times but at this point in my life.. I was loving this song.. So awesome.. I was in my car driving but I tell you what if I could stopped right there and started dancing and praising... it would've been awesome.. God is so good and I hope this song.. will pick you up, get you to stand, raise your hands, praise god.. and be thankful we are FREE...

So.. hit pause on my playlist...don't be shy... do a couple turns.. once you get moving there's nothing getting in your way!!

Love,



Saturday, March 21, 2009

**Soaked Saturday**

It seems to be that if you step outside today, you will definitely need either a rain jacket and umbrella or a canoe with rowers. It has been raining since the wee early hours of the day...

Rainy, cool weather can make a person droopy, sleepy, lazy or feeling just in a funk.. Nothing out of the ordinary has went down but just feeling quiet today..

I am glad I got up and was motivated to put the floating clean laundry away.. I don't mind to do the actual wash/dry part but puting it away .. oh boy.. dread it.. so I had at least.. 4 baskets .. yes I know 4 .. that's alot.. Give me some credit it was all clean ..just hadn't made it up the 13 stairs into the cozy drawers...

Spring Break has officially kicked off... PRAISE GOD... (I think).. ask me again here oh about wednesday.. and I'll be praying for the speed of lightening to hit and monday to come back around..

A few to-do things on here.. Making note so sure to get done:

Deep cleaning

Upstairs hallway closet.. You open that door without stability and it will knock you down with a pillowcase or two..

My bedroom..(We'll just let that one sit at that)

Floors..

Oh take some pictures... I so hope it's nice enough to take some new pics..


I also want to make more time for prayer and reading my bible..It sounds terrible that I don't put ME time into my bible studying.. Okay it's a deal... A pack for myself and others who wish to join in putting more into our god.. It's the least we could do considering what he's done for us..

Well I need to start writing on a paper for school... yep and read my bible...

Until next time...

Love,

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday....

I want to kind of go with a theme here.. not sure if that is the word I'm thinking of but today or thursday's I want to Headline them as just that 'Thankful Thursday'..

1. Thankful we have a god to serve.

2. Thankful I can go anytime to our god and pray..

3. Thankful I am married and that eventhough we have rocky times.. it's gonna be okay.
4. Thankful I have 4 children including jeff's girls from previously..(which I still count as my own)..love them all...especially my first grandbaby ..miss novalee... cutie pie!!

5. Thankful I am able to be a SAHM and attend college classes online.

6. Thankful that at this time we have a home, electric, all the essentials we are needing. In this time we are not to take things for granted...

7. Thankful I have the ability to be online and have my blog to be able to share my thoughts, and know that others wanna hear me.

8. Thankful for the women I've found online while blogging.. To be followed is not always a bad thing..:) It reminds you that.. you can have great friends through the capabilities of the web..:)

9. Thankful for the ability to be able to knit and crochet.. praise god.. I wouldn't trade my yarn obsession for nothing..

10. Thankful for thin mint cookies... Gotta love them...

The list could keep growing.. small or large things to be thankful is incredible blessings..I know in today's hours if you watch the news or read the papers... some of the writing can scare the bajeebies out of you.... If you find a few blogs.. they can make you down...

I want my blog to be of hope, strength and faith.. to encourage others to look outside of all the ugly and see there is sunshine too..

I haven't experienced even half of the things some ladies are going through but I've been down a couple hilly roads.. Back then honestly I can say I was mad.. mad at god for things turning out not the way I wanted them to. Back in between my kids in 2000 and 2004 I had miscarriages. Both times were each a set of twins. It is incredibly hard to see the good when you have lost a child. I know terminology wise it's considered an embryo but these were my babies.. After years having gone by ....I see now that if I would've had these babies, I probably wouldn't have all my children I have today.. makes you think about it ...With each day, each month, each year the pain lessens but sadness will always be in my heart.

In time I've been through valleys and hills of crazyness..It came to be when my mother in law had passed last April, I was so unsure of our god.. So many things I didn't understand, so much hurt that I couldn't bear to hold it in any longer. When I begun going to church and I remember the day last June.. when I made the choice to surrender all my heart to him and baptized in jesus name... it was the most incredible time of my life.

I'm so thankful when a day is so crazy or overwhelming I am able to stop and pray.. Having god to talk to is the best.. I'm sure I've been caught driving and praying.. people probably thought I was about koo koo.. That's okay though..

Today's post was thick I know with alot of emotions but this is what is on my heart today..

So.. now it's your turn... tell me what you are thankful for...come on don't be shy...there's gotta be a few things..

Wishing you a blessed day with lots of love,

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Purpose

**We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to HIS purpose.** Romans 8:28

There is always a purpose for everything in our lives. There is also reasoning behind every situation inner twinned with each scenario. When I sat out to do this blog innitially it was made to be geared toward yarn. Anyone who knows a bit about me, knows I am a yarn fanatic. I had tethered with the idea to continue with this blog because well as you see there isn't one single pic of yarn. I found there to be an alterior motive for my blog. One day as I was blog searching I had came across baby harper, then linked to baby kaleigh, and on to baby veiyah.. These were just any babies.. these are MIRACLE babies.. I write this to say my purpose for blogging has shifted.. These babies have even confirmed in my heart more than ever that I want to be a nurse with the deepest part of my soul.Whether it be in the NICU with miracle babies like veiyah or harper or be right beside a mom that has tried for so long to carry a miracle baby and you are about to assist in the delivery. I sat and read story after story of NICU babies and these precious families sharing there lives as they unfold daily for the whole world to read. I reiterate ... their is a reason behind every outcome.. A purpose... Nothing just happens just because... Back to my blogging I had come across blog after blog of women ... these women are amazing. They are christian, god loving women but also they are women that are for whatever reasons are going through IVF. My latest blog I stumbled upon would be Life with Mimi. Her name is Kami and it's her life through IVF. I found that her sharing her day to day trials very courageous in the fact that she is letting whomever wants to join her on this journey. I can say their is a reason I have found these blogs and their is a purpose of why I came upon Mimi's blog. It was no accident by any means. My love for god and his mercy increases more and more. He is such an amazing god and any confirmation needed .. well open your bible up to the book of Psalms.



Love,


Stephanie